defriended

I have been defriended. It's not the first time I have been defriended, although this one is much less painful since it was really just the illusion of friendship that social media such as Facebook facilitates. The first time I was defriended I was 22 and it was a literal lifelong friend. I made a tough decision and she did not agree with it so she abruptly ended our friendship. One day we were the best of friends and the next day we were not. Just like that. It was on the phone that I told her of my decision. That was our last conversation. It was a terribly lonely time for me. I am not cynacal or bitter or distrusting of folks. It did however teach me a lot about friendships..how to be a friend and how to choose friends.

I suppose I should admit I have defriended someone on Facebook as well. It was a complete accident. For a time, Facebook had the option under someone's post to comment or like or delete or block. I meant to hit like and I hit block. After countless hours and a couple of weeks I was able to make her my friend again. I honestly thought I was going to have to call Mark Zuckerberg to get permission to be her friend again! We tried everything. I had to go into my privacy settings and change some things. Once I changed the settings, Facebook made me wait 48 hours before I could ask her to be my friend! I suppose that was time to think things over.( I think Facebook has changed all this now.) That is a good amount of trouble to go through but she is a good friend.

Back to my being defriending. I was not really defriended after all. To be defriended implies there was once a friendship. I was simply taken off a list. None of us really have 672 friends. I suppose our innate need to feel significant drives us to social media such as Facebook. The Lord put that longing there. It has a purpose. He deliberately created each of us with a need to connect...to know someone cares...to feel loved..to have relationships with each other. Most importantly to have a relationship with Him. Social media is just the newest way we have created to try and fill that void.

Dont' get me wrong, I enjoy facebook. I recently connected with a good friend from my childhood...so many good memories. And I have been able to keep up with another friends hospital recovery. I have the most fun on FB during NFL games as I chat with my fellow Cheeseheads. However, it can't be a substitute for those real friendships. The ones our parents and grandparents had...friendship that can't be ended with the click of a button.